Do you know the biggest mistake we make with our parents?
It happens when we start acting "grown-up" in front of them. We think we are wiser, smarter, and more experienced than them. We begin to believe that we know better than them, even though they are the ones who raised us, taught us right from wrong, and guided us through life. Now, we start correcting them, telling them what to do, and pointing out their mistakes as if we are the teachers.
We tell our fathers, "Dad, don’t do this, it’s wrong."
We scold our mothers, "Mom, why did you do this? You don’t know how to do it right."
We question them, "Dad, why did you go there?"
And sometimes, without realizing it, we hurt them with our words, "Mom, you’ve messed up again. You always do things wrong. How many times do I have to explain this to you?"
In these moments, we fail to understand that our "grown-up" behavior takes away something very important from us: the ability to feel and understand their emotions. We stop feeling what they feel. We forget that our parents, who were once strong and in control, are now getting older. As they age, they become like children again, needing care, love, and understanding. But instead of giving them the support they need, we act like we know more than them.
With age, our parents begin to let go of the worries and responsibilities that used to weigh them down. They don’t stress about the small things like we do. All they need now is a little happiness, a little love, and a small smile from us. These small things are enough to make their day.
But instead of giving them joy, we take away their sense of freedom. We stop them from feeling in control of their lives.
We take away their "freedom to speak their minds."
We take away their "freedom to make their own decisions."
We take away their "freedom to scold us" when they think we are wrong, something they used to do out of love and concern for us.
We even take away their "freedom to love us" because we make them feel that we don’t need them anymore, or that they aren’t as important as they used to be.
But these small freedoms are everything to them now. This is their happiness. This is their peace. These small things are all they have left to enjoy in their later years. And when we come in with our sharp words, acting like we know everything, we take away their joy. They may not understand all the reasons behind our harsh behavior, but they do understand one painful truth: they feel like their time is over. They feel like they are no longer needed, and this makes them withdraw into themselves. They become quieter, more isolated, and eventually, they might even start to feel sick, both mentally and physically.
So, if we really want to make our parents happy, we need to stop pretending to be smarter than them. We need to stop acting like we know it all. Instead, we should remain their "child" in front of them. Let them feel that we still need them, that we still look up to them. Being a child doesn’t mean we are immature; it means we are keeping our hearts open, loving, and humble. It keeps us connected to them.
We should serve them with love and kindness. Speak to them softly, with patience and respect. Our parents' hearts are full of prayers for us. Every word they say, every moment they smile at us, is a blessing in itself. When we treat them with love and care, their hearts naturally overflow with prayers and good wishes for us.
As they grow older, our parents may not express themselves as clearly as they used to, but that doesn’t mean they don’t understand what’s going on. They know much more than we realize because they have lived through so much more than we have. Their wisdom comes from experience, and we should never forget that.
It’s important to give them space to feel in control of their own lives, to make their own choices, and to feel that they are still respected and needed. Sometimes, when we act too "grown-up," it pushes them away, but when we act like their "child," it brings us closer together. Staying humble, staying small in front of them, and showing love opens the door to a world of love, respect, and blessings.
In the end, if we want to honor our parents and truly make them happy, we need to stop trying to act like we know better. Let them feel that they are still wise, still important, and still the foundation of our lives. By being their loving, humble child, we can bring them joy and peace in their later years, and in return, we will receive their endless love and blessings.